Sometimes you need wide open spaces to clear your head. Having been raised in the middle of corn fields in eastern Illinois, it seems wide open spaces give me peace. Most of the time I get so lost in the business of life that I lose touch. Lose focus. But this week has been heart wrenching, rip your heart out sad for many reasons.
I am feeling raw. Numb. Unmotivated. Angry. Sad. Frustrated. Helpless. All while feeling guilty for not being more excited for friends who have very happy things happening in their lives at this very moment. Guilty that I have many blessings to be thankful for but can only focus on the things that are not going well this very moment.
But today, I am just asking God to comfort my heart and to comfort those who are saying their last goodbye and see ya later to each other. All at the same time praying for happy new beginnings for those who are starting new marriages and new families. Hoping that God blesses them like he has blessed me. But at the end of the days I know I just need to be still, for God is in control. I will not always understand his reasons but know that it is his will.