Finding Peace

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Sometimes you need wide open spaces to clear your head. Having been raised in the middle of corn fields in eastern Illinois, it seems wide open spaces give me peace. Most of the time I get so lost in the business of life that I lose touch. Lose focus. But this week has been heart wrenching, rip your heart out sad for many reasons.

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I am feeling raw. Numb. Unmotivated. Angry. Sad. Frustrated. Helpless. All while feeling guilty for not being more excited for friends who have very happy things happening in their lives at this very moment. Guilty that I have many blessings to be thankful for but can only focus on the things that are not going well this very moment.

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But we all stumble and fall. We all have “what if’s” and “should have’s” we will deal with till the very end. But I do know that with every sunset comes the promise of a sun rise.

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A week ago I found myself on the prairie looking out into the foggy morning praying for broken arms, broken hearts, and cancer ridden bodies. Thanking God for never leaving me or forsaking me.

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But today, I am just asking God to comfort my heart and to comfort those who are saying their last goodbye and see ya later to each other. All at the same time praying for happy new beginnings for those who are starting new marriages and new families. Hoping that God blesses them like he has blessed me. But at the end of the days I know I just need to be still, for God is in control. I will not always understand his reasons but know that it is his will.

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Comments

  1. Robin says

    Leah,
    You are on the right track. You know what you are suppose to do. Stay strong & focused and let God be in control while you stay patient. :-) Love ya Sista!

  2. says

    Right there with you struggling at times to understand “Why?” Guess with God and John Lennon’s song, “I get by with a little help from my friends,” we will muddle through these next few weeks. Hugs!

  3. Ann says

    I know exactly how you are feeling. My prayers will be with you and we will get through these times, God has better plans for us maybe not what we want or understand but He knows what He is doing :) Keep strong…breathe…pray often

  4. Wendy says

    We all go through bad patches, it sucks. It’s hard for us to understand but one day we will go to meet our Maker and all will be made clear. In the mean time, be there for those who need you, sometimes those crosses are too much to bear alone. Rejoice in your blessings, they are gifts from God.

  5. says

    This was so beautiful and touching. I am sorry that you are going through some tough times right now. At one point in my life I was asking God “What have I done that I deserve to go through all this” he did not answer but I was “still” and he blessed me and made me stronger. God’s Blessing!

  6. says

    Sometimes being still is so hard but so important to remember. I love your sunset/sunrise example, what a great reminder that God is in control of each and every day. Hugs

  7. says

    I don’t know you very well as I’ve only been following you for a short time, but I’ve been through hard times like you and everyone else. Born on a farm/ranch – there I times when I need to be back there alone – some don’t understand that because they want to be surrounded by family and friends. Here is my best advice: Pray for peace with it. Sometimes, no matter what it is, peace with it is the best you can hope/pray for.

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